I never knew that I would fall in love with being a nobody.

Sitting here in a coffee shop in the Holborn area of the city and I feel so light.

Can't really explain it but people diving for the seat on the subway before I could dare put my 'caught in the rain' body into it felt great. Having people barge past me as the escalator climbed it's way out of hell was wonderful.

Yep. Being a nobody is an alright thing I do declare. Sure beats people who wouldn't give you the time of day 4 months ago now clucking around like lactating hens. Oh shurrup, I am aware hens don't lactate. I think.

Now. Why am I in this smokey haze known as London? My first big meeting since coming back.

Thank fuck for Valium.

If I make it through today then I will have managed a full work week finally.

Everyone has been great .. if just a little annoying with all the sympathetic looks.

It is rather sweet how ever morning there has been a cup of tea on my desk waiting for me ... should I be concerned that they are watching out the window for me each day??

I am working on convincing them that biscuits with the tea is the way to go.

Seriously though ... it has been a tough week and I am exhausted.

I have this shiny Samsung YP-P2. I bought it because my music was taking too much space on my laptop. It also hold zillions of pictures as well. So thinking I would save a wee bit more space on my laptop I put all my pictures on it too.

Can you see where I am going with this?

I have since realised that I cannot transfer anything off the above named shiny thing to a computer should I want to.

I feel physically sick knowing that all my pictures of Cody are on this shiny thing and if I ever want a new shiny thing I will NOT be able to move the pictures. Even worse - what if it gets stolen, broken or thrown against the wall?

Yes, I know, I know ... I should not have deleted the pics/music off the laptop before chekcing things out ... no letures. Please.

Help.

Please.

Strolling back in time through my blog to get even mere snippets of Cody I found this from a year ago.

ASBO Girls

I just snorted tea.

Wonder what the two ASBO girls are doing now and why can't I have that moment back?

Don't start avoiding my blog ... I am not getting all maudlin, well I'll try not (maudlin - is that the right word) ... just sharing.

Oh summat else I found while backtracking ... did we ever figure out if there is a 'Speed of Smell'?

I also hate that due to the hijack my blog suffered last year (no names mentioned ) I no longer have the comments on any of my posts pre October-ish last year. Makes me look like a right Billy-no-mates.

Hang on ... am I?

Sniff.

Like any self-respecting lunatic I sat in the middle of my driveway laughing like Benny Hill on Crack at 6.45 this morning.

Why?

That's just it ...... I don't fucking know.

Padded room and crayons here I come.

In other news I got a package with pictures that warmed my heart, a letter that blurred my vision (you have the scrawl of a doctor) and a book that touched a nerve (ya Strumpet).

Going to a group session tomorrow ..... wanna take bets how long I last before leaving?

Fuck ..... That's a long post for me.

x

How is everyone?