Is it easier?

Not really.

Am I still breathing?

Not really.

Have I offended my entire family?

Completely.

Do I care?

Not really.

Not sure what to say.

I did not mean to make everyone sad.

I am doing that quite fine by myself.

Thank you, everyone, for your words.

I will keep taking one step at a time. No, I do not see how time will ever heal this complete physical pain I feel. It feels like I got that phone call three minutes ago and I know that it always will. As I just said to someone in email, I know that I will go on. Not that I have anything left to live for but because I just can't bear the thought that maybe the whole seeing your loved ones when you die theory is all a horrible mistake. At least while I still breathe I can look at pictures but if I died it might just be nothingness.

Sorry. I will try to make better sense later.

Sorry that I am unable to pick up the phone. I just can't right now.

Not sure how to start this.

Can't be bothered to be all tip toe-y and delicate about it.

For once I seem to have a half-way decent recent for ignoring everything.

On February 10th my son, Cody, was killed by a drunk driver along with his dad, my ex-husband.

I went back to work yesterday after being off for over a month.

I have ignored emails, texts and phone calls.

I have ignored everything and everyone.

Then I got to work and among the four zillion backed up emails and calender reminders was a reminder to send food to Sixey and Parsley. Remember we did the baby parcel and in it was the food idea of Cody's.

So, Sixey, if you are reading this ... I am sorry.

Now ... one foot in front of the other, breathe in and breathe out.

Life really does go on, unfortunately.