But then there wasn't any action going on so could I really be classed as missing?

Volunteer some time and go work with some teenagers.

Ughhh how dare a mere movie make me cry?

It made me laugh too.

Then cry some more.

I went for a walk earlier in the freezing, windy mix of rain and sleet.

Why?

Because. You should try it.

Ok, I am quite aware that what I am about to say may get some people angry at me.

I was walking across the parking lot to my car after buying my nice shiny new running shoes when I witnessed a sight that had to be embarrassing for the person involved.

A very, very large man was trying to get out of a very, very small car. I am not being mean and exagerating. His stomach was stuck on the steering wheel and he couldn't get his legs out without assistance from his passenger ( I assume it was his passenger and not a passerby).

All I could think about is what would happen if this man was involved in a traffic accident? There is no way he could exit his car quickly and get to safety.

I think that this is highly irresponsible. It not only puts himself at risk but the lives of emergency workers.

I am not sure what the solution should be. Should people over a certain weight be banned from travelling in vehicles? That doesn't seem fair as not all big people are big due to gluttony. I just can't imagine though the poor widow being told her fireman husband is dead because he couldn't get the large person out of the vehicle before it exploded.

Your thoughts?

The mouse has disappeared like Hoffa.

I am off to buy running shoes ( no connection to the mouse ).

After a quick glance at the news today I am saddened by the fact that it seems our youth place less and less value on human life.

When I was younger if you didn't like someone you gossiped about em, called em names or even got into a fist fight but knives and guns seem to be the negotiating tools of todays youth.

I lay down on the floor and peek under the bookshelf. Smudge, who witnesses this, jumps down from his watchful perch on the t.v. and peeks under with me.

It's gone. No mouse under there.

WTF !!

I have now spent the last two hours moving every piece of furniture in the house. No mouse.

Smudge is confused. He is walking around like a sniffer dog with his nose to the ground.

How in the fuck am I ever going to get to sleep tonight.

* squeak *

However the tiny mouse in their mouth when they come through the cat flap does.

It is now hiding under the bookshelf just out of Smudges reach.

Can mice ... tiny mice ... climb stairs?

When I said brisk walk I did not mean that damn brisk but I think I just came close to unintentional suicide.

I just speed walked up to the roundabout (only one in the village .. lol) and back. Now please take into account I am at the bottom of a wee valley so it was uphill (steeply) any which way I went and then steep decline on the way back.

In a short twenty minutes I managed to make my calves cramp, my lungs scream and my neighbors suspicious.

Fuckin' ell, this is not gonna be easy is it?

Also why, even though my lungs are on strike, do I want a cigarette desperately right now?

Well, I am now sufficiently stuffed full of all things bad for me.

However, I was hit with the best diet/exercise incentive possible.

My older brother was there and he has lost two stone and is running in the Reading marathon next weekend.

Why is that incentive when nothing else has worked?

He now only weighs a stone more than my fat ass and I am NOT going to give him ammunition to be an asshole.

So I had what can be termed as a 'last supper' and by God I shall lose the weight I have gained.

On that note ... I am off out for a nice brisk walk. Running will have to be built up to.

Ta bro

Off to moms for mothers day lunch.

It's her damn fault I have gained 2 fucking stone since landing in this starch laden country.

Guess my lack of willpower might be just a little to blame.

Oh, if in my absense Maddogs tells any outrageous stories about me, some geezer and a murderous threat. I deny it all.

I am a sweet, innocent 'girl next door' type.

Really.

It is Sunday morn and I have been awake and up for over two hours.

What is going on?

Happy Mothers Day to me.

Happy Mothers Day to y'all.

Well, what a fab night.

Sat in a remote (?) pub and solved world politics.

We discussed each others lives.

I am incredibly happy about the path this fellow blogger is taking.

Cried with laughter when the guys at the next table tried to flirt by saying I looked 43.

Managed to control homicidal urges.

Harmlessly flirted with cute guy on my way to the ladies.

Decided this blogger is friend for keeps.

Home safe and sound before midnight.

I would appreciate it if you would all type quietly today.

'Nuff said.

Ok, so in my rather erm tipsy search for entertainment I have found this most mind-numbing show. Is it bad that I kinda fancy the guy who plays Gaz?

Two reasons why Abi should not be allowed to cook when drinking.

1. Certain ingredients should NEVER be mixed

2. It is still hot even after you have turned it off.

Apparently if I had bigger glasses I wouldn't run out so much.

Yet I do have big glasses.

I would so like to hit a couple of people that hard.

...

...

...

* hic *

Oh, too late, I drank it all.

Friday night lays ahead and the thought of my own company and my own company alone has forced me to have to start on the wine early. At least it might liven up the one woman party.

What happened to the Abi who thought nothing of going into pubs by herself? I no longer care for it. In the year I have been here I haven't exactly endeared myself to the local soap opera that is the village pub. Plus I don't fit in, not really, due to having all my own teeth.

Ah well, I shall now flick through the t.v channels and find anything that involves no red noses. I shall strip to my undies cos at the end of next month I will no longer be free to do that. Then I shall make friends with the next bottle.

That's what I get for taking the week off work.

Boredom.

I have no clue now how to occupy my time until Monday as I have done everything that needs doing.

I will not go to the pub.

I will not go to the pub.

I will not go to the pub.

Oh and in other news I quit smoking. 36 hours (ish) without one now.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Food for thought.

Would the worlds attitude towards America be different if he had succeeded?

Now that he has admitted he carried out 9/11 under orders of a certain fugitive will the world quit bitching about him being hunted for?

Doubt it.

Can I just say that I absolutely love Steph's blog. I may not always agree with her views but I admire and respect the fact that she is mature enough to accept that everyone has differing opinions and she openly encourages mature debate on her blog.

I think many bloggers could learn something from her carriage. If you treat people with respect in the way you word things on their blog or in real life then you can only expect to get treated with the same respect in return. This does not mean you have to kiss anyones ass and like a sheep follow their view, which I have to say I see way too much around here. People being too afraid of rocking the boat to say what they really think.

Tra la la

I am still at home.

Oh yes, having way too many vacation days allocated to you is a tiresome thing to deal with.

So, what have I done today?

Rolled out of bed at about 8am (instead of the normal 5.30am)

Went for a walk (mental note to never do that again when all the kids are walking to school)

Taken care of some personal work stuff (oxymoron maybe)

Am now bored out of my mind.

In other news I have lost 6lbs this week. Ain't stress great.

Oooooo look what I just found on 'You Tube'

I'm sure he has shown it before but embarassing the lovely JD has always been a hobby of mine ( remember the Meez incident .. lol)

Anyway, with no further ado, I present to you ....

Juzzzy topless !!!

I have a disc that on my moms computer and on my work computer I can open ALL the files just fine but on my laptop some of them won't open. I could almost think there was a major fault going on with the laptop if none of them opened but that is not the case. It is just a select few. I don't understand.

Please help me before I have to sling the laptop at the wall to release tension.

Also when I have nothing open at all and I press ctrl/alt/del it shows me having 62 processes running.

WTF?

Anyone know how to remote access my laptop and fix this shit for me?

Where's A.J. dammit?

Well, I am just a little angry.

I am quite aware that for the most part those on my friends list can be termed loosley. Not to be rude but bottom line is what do I really know about some of you? Nothing. Just what you allow me to know. Which is fine, afterall that is the joy of the internet, right?

I have had the pleasure of meeting a select handful on my friends list who upon meeting and spending some time with I can say are completely crazy ... but in a good way.

However, here is my point.

Yesterday I put up a 'Friends Only' post. I don't do private posts as a general rule because my life with all it's fuck-ups is nothing that I am ashamed of. Yesterday I did one because what I wanted to talk about involved people in my family and out of respect for them I did not want, at this stage, to share with the whole world. In the course of sharing what I did I also shared something from my past that involved rape and adoption. As I said I am NOT ashamed of my past.

I just opened up my blog account and was looking at the tags because I noticed Paddy had been sweet and put an addition about me winning some Bloscars summat. I then with horror saw something that has made my blood boil.

"Gave her baby away"

How fucking dare you!!! So, someone on my friends list is a vindictive, shallow, ignorant asshole. How nice.

As a normal rule I would not change the tags (i.e. I left 'whore' that someone put on there ages ago) but I removed this.

So, on that note, it makes me wonder why I bother having a friends list. If you can't respect the reason behind 'Friends Only' posts then what is the fucking point?

Yeah, yeah, I know I am going to hear a whole bunch of 'Don't let them get you down' type of comments but to be honest I don't want to hear that. I want some indignation here for fucks sake. They haven't and won't get me down ... shit I have been through worse in my sleep. I am just angry that I bothered with a 'Friends Only' post to be so disrespected.

It's a long one but I implore you to please go read THIS

Oh shit ....

* smacks head *

Venice ... NOT Venus (fly trap)

* leaves room *

One sheep

Two sheep

Three sheep

Four sheep

Fiv........

Oh For Fucks Sake!!!!

Who said counting sheep will make you sleep?

Now I'm hungry.

I don't want to be an accountant.

I detest my job.

I am good at my job and that's what makes this realisation difficult.

Click HERE to view

So I have taken today off work and am attempting some spring cleaning.

*note* 'Spring Cleaning' for Abi usually means moving things from one spot to another.

So I go outside and am staring at the windows contemplating cleaning them and I see some slime all over my front window.

Of course my first thought was to question Nick as to his whereabouts last night. Damn pervert.

Some delinquent egged my house last night. Bastard.

Well, here we are with that previously mentioned 'Friends Only' post.

As most of you know, 'Friends Only' is a rarity for me as my life is an open book .... the good, the bad and the ugly (that would be the ex hubby) are nothing that I am ashamed of or feel the need to keep private. However last weeks bombshell will have to be kept private for a while for reasons that I think will be obvious.

As most of you know, again, I have been half-assed trying to find my birth father and half sister after my mom dropped the bombshell that my dad is not my biological dad.

Well, I had joined a certain website that deals with family trees and stuff. Had a few leads but nothing that made me jump off the couch and run out the door to find this other family. Last week I was on the site just browsing around and for the sake of boredom I put my moms name in as she is adopted and I thought it would be neat it maybe her birth family were trying to find her.

Someone was looking for her alright.

Someone was looking for their BIRTH MOTHER !!!! My mom !!!

It seems my mom had a child in 1966 that she gave up for adoption. Holy shit.

I do NOT in any way judge my mom or feel any differently about her. I do admit a little frustration about her reaction to an event I went through in 1999. I will keep this part short as it is not relevant to the current shock. I was raped in 1999 and subsequently was pregnant from that rape. Abortion was not an option I could choose but I knew I would not be able to raise the child ( I feared I would treat him different than my son ) so I placed him for adoption. My moms reaction at that time was extremly cold. She refuses even to this day to talk with me about what happened to me. She also requested I not tell my dad or brothers.

Anyway, so there is this woman looking for her mom. I contacted her and over the weekend we talked on the phone for 5 hours. She emailed me pictures of herself and her two kids. Let me tell you it is strange beyond comprehension to open an email attachment and see yourself looking back at you. She is my fucking double!!

So ... welcome to my Jerry Springer show. Take a seat and please try to applaud in all the right places. Refreshments will be served after the show.

Welcome to 2008.

Whew, that went by fast didn't it?

Thank God 2007 is over eh?

WHAT??

What do you mean it's NOT !!!!

Fuck.

What a cool show. I got all the damn seasons for Christmas and am now having a marathon viewing ... on season 3 right now.

Oh shurrup ... I am not a saddo.

99 bottles of beer on the wall

You take one down

You pass it around

... and it's fucking empty by the time it gets back around to you.

Oh my fucking God.

Be careful when you open that door ... you may find stuff behind it that you were not prepared to deal with.

I can't go into detail right now as I am still trying to process it but I have this strong feeling I will be drunk this weekend.

Nick .... feel like some drunk blogging tonight?

In other news : I passed the theory test. I now have a month to pass the practical before I can no longer drive on my US licence.

...... I am off to lunch. Dutch courage for the ickle test this afternoon and possible phone calls tonight.

Watch this space.

And if I didn't have enough to think about I have to go at 3pm today and take the theory driving test. Oh yes folks, I have been driving on my US license for over a year now.

Oops.

There is also this 'hazard perception test' thingy that they have added to it too. Geeezzzz. All I know is that it is a hazard if I can't find the cupholder for my vodka coke.

If by some miracle I pass it I then have to (obviously) take the practical. I have no doubt I will fail that in glorious style. Do you know how many bad habits I have picked up since I started driving?

Although I don't really think drinking, talking on the phone and eyeing up other drivers should be classed as bad driving ... I call it fucking impecible multi-tasking.